Psychology Archives - Alex Rowan

Australia Day 2018

Today, 26th January, is ‘Australia Day‘ in Australia. A national public holiday.

I quote from Wikipedia:

“Australia Day is the official national day of Australia. Celebrated annually on 26 January, it marks the anniversary of the 1788 arrival of the First Fleet of British ships at Port Jackson, New South Wales and the raising of the Flag of Great Britain at Sydney Cove by Governor Arthur Phillip.”

How one perceives Australia Day depends on one’s outlook and perhaps bias.

Here are just some different perspectives:

A sad day for Aboriginal culture, marking the beginning of an invasion, subsequent abuse and even at times, ethnic cleansing.
The beginning of severe damage to Australia’s flora and fauna. Just one example is the introduction of the feral cat (I love cats by the way).
A time to be grateful for the ‘efforts’ of the British Royal Navy and Royal Marines in securing new living space for disaffected and/or entrepreneurial Britons, malefactors, their descendants and later migrants.
A time to be grateful that some other nation did not settle Australia, and perhaps one with a worse outcome for the native people than the British.

There are of course more ways that one can reflect upon Australia Day. We can be sure however that due to the biological nature of humans, Australia was never going to be still in the ‘Stone Age’ by today, 2018. When the British invaded in 1788, yes invaded, Australia had a Stone Age type culture which had been in place for thousands of years. In my view it was in many ways a better place back then. But not all.

I am an expatriate Briton, however there is more to me. I have ancient Nordic roots, being descended from Danish Vikings. I am part Irish – a grandmother was Irish. I have German and French ancestry, along with significant Welsh, Scottish, English and more. I was born in London, England. So who am I? A mongrel?

Who I am is not totally my race or ethnic background. Should I go back ‘home’ to Denmark – if they would have me? Where do I belong? Should I try to ‘undo’ what the Danes did to the local Britons back in the day?

Who we are is our deep thoughts. From thoughts spring actions. Multitudes think they are of one perspective yet scientific testing shows that they have strong confirmation and other biases. Multitudes are clearly deluded.

Aside from making efforts to clear our subconscious minds of unhelpful thinking, we need to aim to become better people – more compassionate, kinder, wiser, more humble, more loving. These are all things which we, Aboriginal people included, like to experience, so why don’t we focus on being like that for others?

I know someone who hates Aborigines, yet has helped them in a charitable way for years, so much so that he got an award! The public recognition was a key driver. The man claims to be a Christian. What kind of life and mentality is that? Empty is to put it mildly.

I have a deep respect for the Aboriginal people of Australia, their culture, and the Spirits of this land today. When I was young I saw them as a ‘defeated race’ worthy of no respect. I was a stupid bastard, despite being intelligent.

I am a ‘naturalised Australian’ having gained citizenship in 1985. Ironically, I feel more ‘Australian’ today than I did back then because I have more respect for Aboriginal culture, and at times I respectfully interact with and honour their Spirits. I am grateful to live in Australia and while I am glad that it is a British culture (as opposed to French, Spanish, Dutch etc) my deepest gratitude is to the Aboriginal culture and Spirits. I feel very sad about what has happened to them.

Most ‘Aussies’ are originally British or Irish anyway, probably being mostly descended from British military, civil service or criminals. Some Aussies call me a ‘Pom’, and some have been quite nasty about it. Perhaps I might ask them if they are descended from the British ‘redcoats‘ (military) or the criminals. I am descended from a redcoat – Major General Alexander Carnegy CB. Wry smile.

To me, the real Australians are the Aborigines. I am a Briton, with origins and roots in other (European) cultures…

PS: One for the racist types: If you were bleeding to the death by the side of the road and the only person able to help you was a black guy; how racist would you be then?

…And one for those politically correct unqualified ‘snowflakes’ who like to diagnose others as having phobias, without examination: what race is Islam? And Christianity? They are not races. We gotta get our thinking straight.

PTSD Coach Australia App

PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has existed since the first war was fought. Shell shock was the name for it in WW1, in WW2 it was known as battle fatigue. The term PTSD first appeared in third edition of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) published by the American Psychiatric Association in 1980. Doctors who lobbied for its inclusion saw it as a way of legitimising pain and suffering experienced by Vietnam War veterans.

PTSD is not always caused by war – there are many other causes. I had it due to trauma I experienced when I was a very young child, and a bit later. Today I no longer have it.

PTSD is the phrase used for a set of typical responses to a distressing, traumatic, negative or bad experience. The disorder can arise after experiencing, or witnessing, life-threatening events, such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorism, severe accidents, or violent personal attacks and rape. That said, a traumatic experience can be any situation involving the threat of death or serious injury to an individual or another person close to them. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can even be an effect of a traumatic birth. About 5% of males and 11% of females exposed to such an occurrence will develop PTSD.

PTSD is defined by invasive recollections of a traumatic event/s, which can include distress and repeated nightmares when confronted with sounds and sights that remind of the shock. People with PTSD are constantly guarded and warily look for threatening situations, which means that they’re constantly in a state of high physiological arousal and stress.

In the USA, a smartphone app has proven successful in assisting with the treatment of PTSD in returned US soldiers and there is an Australian version. It is called PTSD Coach Australia. I quote: “PTSD Coach Australia is an app that helps people understand and manage the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.” The app is free, and works on the iPhone, iPad and iPod touch.

Hopefully many more Australian soldiers (Diggers), sailors, airmen and women will benefit from the app, as well as anyone else effected with PTSD. The app is designed to help you, or those close to you, to learn about PTSD and provides tools for managing stress which has arisen due to the trauma. The app can also be used for self-assessment, a direct connection to crisis support and for information about professional treatment. The app itself says it can be used as a stand-alone education and symptom management tool, or to augment personal face-to-face care with a mental health professional.

If you want specific face to face or phone help with PTSD – either for yourself or to cope with a relative’s or friend’s PTSD, please contact me. Please remember that I have personally recovered from PTSD, despite the causes arising very early in my life. Today I know deep peace of mind that few others experience. All without drugs of any kind.

What Have Tea Dregs Got To Do With Subconscious Mind Coaching?

Tea dregs…

…what connection do such dregs have with subconscious mind coaching?

These days I drink decaffeinated green tea made from a tea bag, with no additives such as sugar. I never drink the bottom part. It’s a throwback to decades ago when I drank tea as a youngster in the 60s and 70s. Back then, much tea was made using loose leaf tea, a teapot and a tea strainer, and I had sugar in it too. The dregs at the bottom contained excess sugar and bits of tea matter, which tasted, and felt, nasty. Eew!

As I contemplated drinking my current tea dregs today, I decided to carefully and slowly monitor my feelings. Sure enough, I felt a distinct sense of revulsion starting to bubble up from below. This explains my regular habit of still not drinking my tea all the way to the bottom, despite the dregs being as clear as the top.

Decades ago now, my mind was conditioned not to drink tea dregs due to the icky taste and sensations. The conditioning, which is lodged deep in my subconscious mind, is still there and affecting my current day behaviour, even though with my conscious, logical and decision-making mind I know there is no need.

My subconscious aversion to drinking the dregs of tea is still in control, even after all these years.

A simple example, but one which many of you will be able to try for yourself. Try slowly drinking the dregs of clear tea with nothing added and notice your feelings and reaction.

Some people may not get any reaction but still have the habit of avoiding the dregs of such tea. Sometimes this kind of thing can indicate a more subtle and deeply buried aspect of subconscious mind conditioning.

Subconscious conditioning is often, and usually, hidden or obscured from your awareness.

If I want to, I could do subconscious mind reprogramming and free myself of my deep-seated aversion to the dregs of tea. I probably won’t bother because it is not an important issue and left intact, will always be an excellent example of how the subconscious mind is in control of much of our thinking and feelings. In fact, here’s a good idea…I will at times use my pre-programmed aversion to tea dregs to demonstrate and illustrate the effects of subconscious conditioning during my seminars and training.

Another way of looking at this subconscious conditioning concerning tea dregs is that it’s an excellent example of how more IMPORTANT things might be affecting YOU today, perhaps without your even being aware of them. Things which do need reprogramming; that is, if you are genuinely serious about improving your life. Not everyone is.

Please contact me today for a chat about how I can help you.

Training And Consulting For Health, Mental Health And Coaching Professionals

I offer training and consulting in subconscious mind coaching for a variety of health, mental health and coaching professionals including:

Psychologists
Psychiatrists
Counsellors
Mental Health Nurses
Mental Health Educators
Academia
Other Mental Health Professionals
Doctors
Nurses
Therapists
Life Coaches
Executive Coaches
Leadership Coaches
Relationship Coaches
Sports Coaches
Shamanic Practitioners

Clients receive:

Details of my background and experience
Training in the logic and science of why and how my method works – the ‘hope’ and ‘knowing’
Training in how to activate the principles learned – the doing
Actual workshop experience in implementing the principles – the results
Examples of how the techniques can be applied in a variety of situations
An opportunity for questions and answers

These services attract specialist consulting fees of $275 (Australian Dollars – AUD) per hour for a one on one basis. Group coaching rates available on request.

Please contact me for more information.

Enjoy Better Relationships With Fewer Arguments And Less Stress This Holiday Season

The festive holiday and new year season is, for many people, a time of argumentative discussions, disagreements and stress; which can have nasty undertones – a minefield for relationships.

Here’s information about how you can improve your relationships this festive season.

One of the key life principles I use is learning from experts, from some of the best available. For example: I learn some self defence from a former Warrant Officer in 22 SAS who trained British and allied Special Forces in close combat.

Today I want to talk about the insights of Dr Gleb Tsipursky, a ‘Disaster Avoidance Expert’, consultant, speaker and author, who advocates proven behavioral science-based strategies for avoiding disasters.

Dr Tsipursky has written an excellent article in the Scientific American blog, which I enjoyed immensely:

How to Talk to a Science Denier without Arguing. A simple strategy with the acronym EGRIP can be surprisingly effective.

EGRIP: (Emotions, Goals, Rapport, Information, Positive Reinforcement)

I recommend that you read the article more than once and take time to reflect on how you can incorporate the Doc’s strategy into your discussions. You will pass the time with family and friends this festive season anyway, so it may as well be better spent enhancing your relationships, and the lives of those around you, instead of acrimony. Perhaps write notes and plans on how you will use this material.

This is a good illustration of how, if you spend time gaining greater wisdom, your life, and the lives of those you know, will improve significantly. Life is hard enough as it is without adding troubles due to a lack of insight and knowledge.

Short of time to learn?

Reframe your perspective and consider the time you will save by using better skills, consider the stress you will avoid. We know that stress is bad for health too, so the more you can avoid the better. Swap out activities giving a poor ‘return’ with investing the time saved in building wisdom.

Learn about confirmation bias, empathy, rapport, truth, fake news and more.

Self deception, a form of delusion, is a terrible thing. Crap in your head. Over 30 years ago, when I began my journey of mind healing, I realised that I must set my inner compass to seek truth, regardless of my opinion, or the pain involved. It has been well worth it.

Dr Tsipursky’s book on the subject is The Truth-Seeker’s Handbook: A Science-Based Guide.

I also recommend reading the Scientific American, even if you don’t subscribe; they have many free articles.

Amazon commentary:

“How do you know whether something is true? How do you convince others to believe the facts? Research shows that the human mind is prone to making thinking errors – predictable mistakes that cause us to believe comfortable lies over inconvenient truths. These errors leave us vulnerable to making decisions based on false beliefs, leading to disastrous consequences for our personal lives, relationships, careers, civic and political engagement, and for our society as a whole. Fortunately, cognitive and behavioral scientists have uncovered many useful strategies for overcoming our mental flaws. This book presents a variety of research-based tools for ensuring that our beliefs are aligned with reality. With examples from daily life and an engaging style, the book will provide you with the skills to avoid thinking errors and help others to do so, preventing disasters and facilitating success for yourself, those you care about, and our society.”

Is the concept of addiction or compulsive behaviour around sex a way for people to avoid responsibility for abusive behaviour?

Do you think the concept of addiction or compulsive behaviour around sex is a way for people to avoid responsibility for abusive behaviour?

I think it can be.

Decades ago I had various addictions & compulsive behaviours, yet I took personal responsibility for fixing them.

These compulsions and addictions no longer bother me, or others, today – I don’t have to ‘fight’ or manage them; I do not have the thoughts these days. I did it all without using prescribed drugs. I fixed my deep subconscious mind.

So, if I could overcome addictions and compulsive behaviours – which are used by many as excuses for bad behaviour – then surely other people with them should be held more responsible than they are?

And of course; society generally thinks that those who are not addicted, or subject to compulsion, are indeed responsible for their actions.

Basic knowledge of human nature and criminality informs us that miscreants have a tendency to deny their crimes, claim ignorance, claim they are not at fault, look for excuses or otherwise obfuscate the truth. Prisons have large numbers of ‘innocent’ people as residents; according to the inmates.

The New Scientist writes: Sex addiction is gaining medical credibility as a real thing. One needs a subscription to read the whole article, however I will summarise by saying that the World Health Organisation (WHO) is ‘considering’ adding sex addiction to its own diagnostic guidelines.

Think about the issue from different angles. One such is women abused by a man claiming sex addiction or compulsion. How will these women feel if an offender uses this as an excuse? How will women in general feel when they consider that men could start to increase their levels of abuse, thinking a credible defence is addiction or compulsion (If WHO says so).

We need more personal responsibility in society, not less. We need to stop making excuses and get our shit sorted. An underlying hindrance to this is a significant perception that nothing can be done on a deep level within the psyches of people with issues.

A late friend; Tom Walther – who died in March 2017 – a retired Professor of Psychology at an Australian university, commented that most (he did not say all) psychologists and psychiatrists do not address the deep emotions properly and thus do not enable people to get the freedom they should, and could. It’s a disturbing reflection on the world of mental health that someone with such experience and knowledge commented in this way. And incidentally, my friend approved of my methods (I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist).

Tom Walther was much older than me and was a man of extraordinary experience. Born in Haarlem Holland on the 11th May 1938 to an English mother and Dutch father, he lived in occupied Europe during the Second World War. His mother had to hide at home for the whole war because her English accent would have led to her being imprisoned by the Germans. During the war, Tom and his father were travelling through a town where unknown to them, the Nazis were indiscriminately rounding up people for execution in retribution for some partisan activity, selecting a quota from people travelling down the main street. Tom and his father narrowly missed being chosen by just a few quota slots. They were however forced to watch the machine gunning of the victims. Tom, a little boy, clung on to his father’s trembling leg as his father wet himself. Tom never liked people trivialising or minimising Nazism, or dressing up as Nazis, and had a deep awareness of the darkness of the human soul.

People who abuse others for sexual gratification are somewhat ’empty souls’ who need much psychological and philosophical help. If this is you, please contact me; if you are genuinely serious about changing your thinking and behaviour.

Just one of the key things men who abuse women don’t understand, or ignore, is that unless a woman gives of herself FREELY, you have NOTHING of value. The embrace and ‘energy’ of a woman who LIKES, & WANTS, you is a beautiful thing. People who don’t understand this are missing out on some of the deep joys life can offer. Life’s best is about loving, not taking. Service, not being served.

“‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

Notes:

It is not always men who are the abusers. We need to guard against ‘demonising’ men per se. When I was about 15 or 16, and a student at a boarding school (Rugby School) in the UK in the 1970s, I was on my own in a Rugby town churchyard and got sexually assaulted by an attractive woman I did not know (a stranger). While I admit that I enjoyed it and found it exciting at the time, it was wrong of her to do that and she should not have done it. Had it been a man, I would have beaten the shit out of him in self defence; and yes, I did have the ability: Going Berserk Saved Me From Bullying At Boarding School.