Tag Archives for " Psychiatry "

2 Why We Are Responsible AND We Are Not Responsible For Our Choices And Decisions

ResponsibilityHow responsible for our choices are we? Really?

Take a look at this quote:

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.” Brenda Slavin

Many might say that the quote is harsh, incorrect and even ‘simplistic’. In some respects they are right.

On the other hand, large numbers of people would agree with the quote. I do, to an extent – see my article: I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil

So what is right?

The thinking outlined in the quote is often misused.

Among other things, such thinking can be used:

  • To berate people
  • To look down on people
  • To blame people
  • To excuse the need to help people
  • To be nasty
  • To abuse people
  • To stigmatize others
  • To fuel self righteousness and sanctimoniousness
  • To excuse inability to help
  • To avoid the need to look at your own life
  • To feel powerful
  • To legitimize erroneous schools of thought – an example: why my grandparents got bombed during the Blitz of 1940.

Now we have some idea of the problem, I will further illustrate the point that we can be BOTH responsible and not responsible for the choices and decisions we make.

The issue lies with the subconscious mind.

You see, when thinking is deeply lodged in our subconscious mind, we are under its control.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung : http://alexrowan.com/5216/make-unconscious-conscious-will-direct-life-will-call-fate-carl-jung/

Some people are ‘mental cripples’ due to their subconscious thinking. Some of us extend courtesy and understanding to physical cripples, yet we have no patience or tolerance for ‘mental cripples’. Some will trot out the quote above with a self-satisfied lick of the lips as they berate someone.

We are indeed responsible for fixing our subconscious issues – this responsibility was a key facet of my own freedom from severe mental illness, for example.

But…

If we either do not know how to fix the subconscious mind issues, nor know, or have access to, someone who does, then how ‘responsible’ are we?

Cross Roads With Blank Signs

So many people can’t ‘read’ the sign, or worse; don’t even know there is a choice.

By their nature, subconscious mind issues are not conscious, or ‘obvious’. So many people are ‘in the dark’ about the extent of their problems, or even that they have them. If you don’t know that you have a problem, how responsible are you? We don’t blame children for their lack of knowledge do we? We help them.

This whole issue of personal responsibility is a ‘two edged sword’. We are responsible and yet we are not responsible; depending on the situation and the extent of our knowledge/resources.

The start of the solution is to decide that you will recover; that you will uncover and destroy/heal the subconscious issues troubling your life; that you will find a way to get results and that you will stick with it until you are free.

Unfortunately there are multitudes of mental health/counselling ‘professionals’ out there who don’t know how to help people on the very deep subconscious levels. People seeking solutions can be severely hindered in making progress. I know because I had that experience years ago, I know because of what I hear from my clients today, I know because of what I hear ‘around the traps’ of mental health discussion and debate, I know because a good friend (Professor of Psychology) said so.

We need to turn our focus toward educating people on how they can effect deep subconscious mind change. Then they will be more ‘responsible’. They will recover too.

New you old you crossroads sign

It’s easier when we KNOW that there is a problem AND that it is possible to get results.

If you are someone in need of help please contact me for more information. I am a veteran of experience. I can help you in person, via online counselling (Skype), or via phone counselling.

If you are a mental health professional and want to learn how to help your clients, or even yourself, alter the deep subconscious mind then likewise, get in touch. It does not matter if you are a ‘competitor’ – I am about helping people; the more the better.

Take A Different View On Difficulty

Flag on the peak illustrationDr. Sharpe said, about miracles:

It is difficulties that give birth to miracles.

Life is difficult.

Life sucks sometimes.

Shit happens.

Can you undo it?

Sometimes, yes. A lot of the time, no.

In those cases, we have no real choice then but to be positive. If we are not, we will only make things harder.

A blunt somewhat tough truth.

I had a shit start to life and had severe mental health issues in the beginning, and on into adulthood.

Today I am hugely grateful for what I suffered and consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world?

Why?

Party because of the stuff I know – wisdom learnt along the way – and the deep peace/joy I have within my soul. (Nothing to do with religious shit, though it is spiritual).

Monkey on your back cartoonRecovery was difficult. So much so that goofs in white coats and with certificates on their walls despaired of how to help me. Some of these ‘professionals’ were monkeys on my back.

I am so damn lucky that I had difficulties.

My difficulties were way worse than those encountered by most. Partly because they were deeply entrenched in my ‘baby subconscious’. I was f%$k#d before I even got out of the gate.

My difficulties became a springboard to vibrant life and happiness.

Once I wished I was dead but was too scared to snuff myself. Every day. The pain was so bad.

Today I want to live as long as I can to maximise my service to the world.

So quit moaning about how hard your life is.

Turn your inner compass to the search for truth whatever the price.

Sacrifice your own opinions on the altar of wisdom and truth.

Become humble minded.

And bloody well decide that you WILL overcome no matter what.

Start now.

Call me if you want a hand. I ain’t no monkey.

I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil

Before I start; some notes:

  1. Some mental health issues are due to brain damage or other physical causes – this article does not apply to those.
  2. The commentary in this article uses an example of a man who drowned a cat and is not aimed at that specific case – the article is general in nature.
  3. The article will be confronting to some people, especially those of a ‘politically correct’ nature.
  4. Widespread poor results and care in the mental health field is a contributing factor to this ‘excuses issue’. Not only has a retired professor of psychology friend confirmed the widespread low incidence of deep results, I have come across large numbers of people (clients and more) who complain about it. Often, these latter say that only people who have personally had experience of mental health issues truly understand how to help.
  5. I suffered from severe mental health issues earlier in my life – when a child and into adulthood.
  6. Today I help my clients achieve significant results. So much so, that I count mental health professionals among my clients. I am planning a series of articles about how I can, and do, help my ‘competitors’ – it is important that people get help which works and if that be by a ‘competitor’, then that is a good outcome.
  7. Am I a proud git? No. In fact, humility is a cornerstone principle to mental freedom.

stop excusesMany in society, including myself, are fed up with individuals and organisations who use mental health issues to ‘excuse’ evil. ‘Mitigating factors’ is a term often used.

Unfortunately, using mental health issues in this way also tends to increase the stigma surrounding mental health. Often it is not true.

Today I read about a man who is said to have bipolar/manic depression who killed his lodger’s cat by drowning it, despite professing a liking for his own cat:

Elderly man drowned his lodger’s pet cat because it knocked over his model aeroplane

In the man’s defence, mental health history was brought up, along with a traffic accident which is said to have exacerbated the mental issues.

Clearly, we cannot know the true and full facts of the case and thus cannot comment on this man specifically. We do not know for example whether ‘mental health experts’ who have assessed the man, and the effects of the accident, have got it right (so many get it wrong). I do however find the fact that the man was able to express liking for his own cat disturbing in context of this actions. I expect that the man’s professed attitude will undermine the confidence of people who consider that he seemed able to feel some compassion and knowledge of good (for his own cat), yet chose to discriminate against the lodger’s cat. Unfortunately, many people in society further stigmatize people with mental health issues as a result of stories like this.

Moving on to the point of my article…

Years ago, when I had severe mental health issues, one of the keys to my freedom was taking personal responsibility for my actions, thinking and mental health. I had been to see lots of people with white coats and certificates on the walls – psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc without much success. In fact, being an intuitive fellow I noticed that many of these ‘professionals’ despaired of being able to help me, though they tried to cover it up. I was also prescribed mood altering drugs etc, however I did not take them partly because I knew the chemicals would simply mask my symptoms and hinder healing and recovery.

I got well. Very well. So much so that I now have mental health professionals among my clients.

Why?

I paid a big price. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically.

Among other things, I decided to seek truth and not my own opinion. I was determined to find a solution.

Years later, I discovered that there is a neuroscience term for part of what happened to my mind during recovery from mental health issues – neuroplasticity.

Today, I consider myself to be one of the most fortunate people in the world and am immensely grateful for the suffering I once experienced. Without it I would have never known the deep joy, peace and wisdom that I enjoy today.

From this standpoint then – a place of knowing that serious mental health issues can be overcome – I have a general tendency to dislike mental health issues being used as excuses for evil or bad behaviour.

We need to own up to and ‘own’ our shit before we can change.

I was an evil little shit (though I never hurt a cat in my life). In recovery, I did NOT make excuses; I got well instead.

Today, I have deep empathy, and in the case of animals, can even ‘communicate’ and heal their minds of deep trauma too. People have noticed. Yes, evidence and results tell.

So if you are in the habit of using mental health issues as an excuse – for yourself, or others – it might be time to stop, and get a life.

Tough words yes, but then, I have been there, and done it.

I’m not some ‘goody two shoes’ politically correct do-gooder with all kinds of certificates and no experience of the fires of mental hell.

Very few truly understand these words:

“Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back. There is nothing you can do to such a person because whatever you could do is less than what has already been done to him. We have already paid the price” Elie Wiesel

Exercise Myths Waste Your Time (Life) And Money

Chalkboard- facts and mythsFor a long time now I have cherished truth over my opinion and those of others; including so-called industry professionals. Facts, truth and science matter.

Many of us dislike exercise for a variety of reasons. One of these can be boredom. We do however need to make sure our bodies get the right exercise because if we do not, then we violate ‘natural law‘ and will pay a penalty – if not now; in the future.

Spending valuable time, and money, on unnecessary exercise is a terrible waste. Life is short.

The key is to avoid exercise myths and find out what your body needs. Really. Truly.

Unfortunately, we cannot always rely on fitness industry professionals, doctors or other ‘learned’ individuals.

Today I came across an article in Britain’s Daily Mail:

Top five physiotherapy myths busted by world’s largest physiotherapy clinical research group, which has the largest physiotherapy clinical research website anywhere: PEDro (Physiotherapy Evidence Database).

Just one quote from the Daily Mail article is:

2. Stretching prevents injury and muscle soreness in recreational runners  ‘Stretching before and after a run makes no difference to injuries and muscle soreness’

This PEDro page says: The evidence from randomised studies suggests that muscle stretching, whether conducted before, after, or before and after exercise, does not produce clinically important reductions in delayed-onset muscle soreness in healthy adults.

If you asked your personal trainer or other similar person about this issue you would probably get the wrong answer. A personal trainer very recently told me that stretching reduces muscle soreness!

Disappointing eh!

What else don’t these ‘learned professionals’ know? Worrying eh?

This underlines the need for YOU to take personal responsibility for finding out the truth. Sure, we can delegate and get help from various people – and that can be an excellent thing – however we should find top-notch people and check stuff.

People waste lots of time doing exercise that is not needed and in some cases get injured as a result. And then there is the wasted money. Some exercise professionals are really ‘sheep shearers’ with an unhealthy interest in your cash. But you are not a ‘sheep’. Hopefully.

Here’s an unusual tip…spend time reading the Daily Mail health related articles. Over the years I have learned a lot that has helped me immensely. Including what kind of exercise is good for me, and for how long. I even got critical information about a gut related health issue that a consultant surgeon and general practitioners (physicians) had failed to tell me. Needless to say, my impression of them dropped considerably.

The bottom line of course is that YOU need to take personal responsibility for your health. To many doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and other ‘physical professionals’ you are just a number and a ‘money thing’. In fact, some years ago I had a de-facto partner who was a university lecturer with a Ph.D in Biology. She told me that when she was studying she had a lot to do with medical students, and that most (she did not say all) were studying medicine because of the money potential and not because they cared about people, or the field of medicine.

I had asthma from childhood – it was not diagnosed until my mid 30’s and then only partially. It was not until my mid 40’s that I got the full diagnosis – exercise induced asthma – when a consultant surgeon friend phoned me at home about another matter and asked a series of questions about my being somewhat out of breath when I answered the phone (I had run in from outside).

Taking personal responsibility, finding genuinely elite health/exercise/metal health professionals and checking facts takes work. But it’s worth it. If you value your health, well-being, money and time of course.

Stunning Couples Counselling Testimonial

Here is an SMS/text testimonial from a couples counselling client which I received after the first 1.75 hour session part of my Subconscious Mind Change coaching.

You will see that I have removed the person’s name and phone number for privacy reasons.

Notes:

  1. During counselling, the lady mentioned that she had a significant fear of public speaking.
  2. The ‘few days of practice’ to which the lady refers are what I taught the couple to do. My methods bring real freedom, and I show people how to help themselves.
  3. I used my shamanic abilities during the process, however people would not necessarily know that (I even help atheists who are  not into any kind of spirituality for example). In this case there were no ‘obvious’ shamanic aspects. Simply speaking – if you need help and want to avoid spiritual overtones I can keep it ‘vanilla’ for you – what I teach works regardless of the spiritual ‘tone’ because it incorporates deep psychological law.
  4. My techniques help anyone with any need – including those with no need of counselling. Business people, sports people, special forces operators, spiritual people, everyday people.
  5. Take a minute now to ask yourself how I can help people get results like this? What might I know? How might it benefit you? This area is my core focus partly because it is where I have high expertise and experience.
  6. Perhaps you are one of my ‘competitors’. Are you a counsellor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, I urge you to come and learn my techniques so that you can help your clients much more effectively. Later articles on this website will elaborate on why I am willing and able to teach ‘competitors’.
  7. If you are unable to visit me in person, I offer online coaching via phone or video chat. Contact me here.

Couples Counselling Testimonial

Still reading? So, let me ask you…wouldn’t you like to know for yourself why my technique has such a powerful effect? Partly it is due to my having freed myself from severe mental illness (primarily parent inflicted). As such, I am a veteran of experience – not an academic, student or other ‘learned greenhorn’. Just think… if you were in the infantry with the enemy closing, would you like to be with battle hardened veterans or would you prefer to be with the infantry school professors? Are you interested in results? Or theory? I rest my case.

Contact me here, or use the contact form below.

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Be Careful Which Counsellor You Choose

CounsellingOK, so you have some issues, problems or simply something that you would like to talk to a counsellor, or therapist, about?

The problem is; there are SO many people out there to choose from.

And; do you see a psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor, or even a life coach?

And; how do you know who is any good?

Sadly, qualifications are no guarantee of good service, despite what many people might think (Often the thinking results from deep subconscious conditioning). Here are some examples.

  1. In 2008, I came across a website run by a counsellor who was not only a registered psychologist, but has 3 university degrees, including a masters majoring in counselling. He had been counseling since 1989 in universities, community based counselling agencies and within corrections. His client base included elite athletes, entrepreneurs and professionals. He claimed to be good at what he did, but admitted he had low self confidence! He then went on to explain that he did not solve his self confidence issues until he learnt a revolutionary new method of dealing with problems. He then went on to say that he now used this method extensively with his clientele. (Note: The website is now defunct, however I have references).
  2. Also in 2008, I met a woman at a business seminar who had an enormous string of qualifications on her business card: BA (Behavioural Sciences/Psychology), Dip Ed, DCH, MHC, CACH, CPLH, Master Practitioner NLP, Master Coach NLP, MP Time Line Therapy. Member AHA, ABH, ABNLP, TLTA. Impressive huh? Or obsessive perhaps? At the end of the 3 day seminar series, we had the opportunity of recording a video testimonial about the seminar presenter, and this woman told me (in a public setting, not in private) that she was very nervous about standing in front of the camera. Besides her own admission, I could see and sense that she had real issues with confidence and noted that she did not exude happiness or other positive energy. She was the kind of person that some people with certain emotional/mental problems would have found depressing to be around.
  3. See my article: When A Psychologist Or Psychiatrist Or Counsellor Is Not An Expert

The three examples above are key reasons why you should be careful about assessing potential counsellors, or similar, on the grounds of their qualifications. Personally, I have nothing against qualifications, and besides having some myself, I have many learned friends. One of these is a retired professor of psychology. What is important though, is the results, impact and effect of a person. Having a good education is great, however there are many educated derelicts out there. Many ‘health’ or well-being practitioners are well below par, despite all the certificates. Make sure you do not waste your money, time or life on them. Some will stuff you up big time.

So, what are some other things to think about when looking for a good counsellor?

  • Experience and results are two key issues.
  • What is the counsellor like? Dynamic, full of life in a loving way? Do they inspire you? Do you sense they can help you?
  • Has the counselor been through, and successfully emerged from, a really terrible past? Many people end up in the counselling or psychology field through a career choice. Nothing wrong with that and some do an outstanding job, however they cannot compare with someone who has actually lived the experience.
  • Referrals can be good, however the right counsellor for one person is not necessarily right for another. Referrals can also be given because the counselor concerned is just good at hosting cosy chats complete with tea and biscuits.
  • Does the counsellor have a high love quotient? Or are they cool and impersonal?
  • Does the counselor have an intuitive side? This can be very important indeed.
  • Are you going to be helped with sorting out the very deep stuff? Can your counsellor really help with that? Most can’t, and have no idea, simply because they have not been through it themselves and emerged victorious.

In my view, probably the most important is the life experience the counsellor has. Have they lived what they are trying to tell you? Or are they ‘do as I suggest/say, not as I do’ type people?

Contact me today for an obligation free chat about how I can help you and make a significant difference in your life.

Note about spelling: You may have noticed the use of both the single and double l in counselor, counselling. This is deliberate and designed to help as many of people find (in the search engines) and benefit from this blog post as possible. In North America the word counselor is the correct spelling, whereas in the UK and Australia it is counsellor. Just using one spelling could mean that some interested readers would not find the post. Additionally, I have counseling clients who I help over the phone in North America (USA & Canada) the United Kingdom, New Zealand and some other countries. It would be sad if someone missed out on getting help due to spelling! Thank you for your understanding.

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