Tag Archives for " Online Coaching "

2 Why We Are Responsible AND We Are Not Responsible For Our Choices And Decisions

ResponsibilityHow responsible for our choices are we? Really?

Take a look at this quote:

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.” Brenda Slavin

Many might say that the quote is harsh, incorrect and even ‘simplistic’. In some respects they are right.

On the other hand, large numbers of people would agree with the quote. I do, to an extent – see my article: I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil

So what is right?

The thinking outlined in the quote is often misused.

Among other things, such thinking can be used:

  • To berate people
  • To look down on people
  • To blame people
  • To excuse the need to help people
  • To be nasty
  • To abuse people
  • To stigmatize others
  • To fuel self righteousness and sanctimoniousness
  • To excuse inability to help
  • To avoid the need to look at your own life
  • To feel powerful
  • To legitimize erroneous schools of thought – an example: why my grandparents got bombed during the Blitz of 1940.

Now we have some idea of the problem, I will further illustrate the point that we can be BOTH responsible and not responsible for the choices and decisions we make.

The issue lies with the subconscious mind.

You see, when thinking is deeply lodged in our subconscious mind, we are under its control.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung : http://alexrowan.com/5216/make-unconscious-conscious-will-direct-life-will-call-fate-carl-jung/

Some people are ‘mental cripples’ due to their subconscious thinking. Some of us extend courtesy and understanding to physical cripples, yet we have no patience or tolerance for ‘mental cripples’. Some will trot out the quote above with a self-satisfied lick of the lips as they berate someone.

We are indeed responsible for fixing our subconscious issues – this responsibility was a key facet of my own freedom from severe mental illness, for example.


If we either do not know how to fix the subconscious mind issues, nor know, or have access to, someone who does, then how ‘responsible’ are we?

Cross Roads With Blank Signs

So many people can’t ‘read’ the sign, or worse; don’t even know there is a choice.

By their nature, subconscious mind issues are not conscious, or ‘obvious’. So many people are ‘in the dark’ about the extent of their problems, or even that they have them. If you don’t know that you have a problem, how responsible are you? We don’t blame children for their lack of knowledge do we? We help them.

This whole issue of personal responsibility is a ‘two edged sword’. We are responsible and yet we are not responsible; depending on the situation and the extent of our knowledge/resources.

The start of the solution is to decide that you will recover; that you will uncover and destroy/heal the subconscious issues troubling your life; that you will find a way to get results and that you will stick with it until you are free.

Unfortunately there are multitudes of mental health/counselling ‘professionals’ out there who don’t know how to help people on the very deep subconscious levels. People seeking solutions can be severely hindered in making progress. I know because I had that experience years ago, I know because of what I hear from my clients today, I know because of what I hear ‘around the traps’ of mental health discussion and debate, I know because a good friend (Professor of Psychology) said so.

We need to turn our focus toward educating people on how they can effect deep subconscious mind change. Then they will be more ‘responsible’. They will recover too.

New you old you crossroads sign

It’s easier when we KNOW that there is a problem AND that it is possible to get results.

If you are someone in need of help please contact me for more information. I am a veteran of experience. I can help you in person, via online counselling (Skype), or via phone counselling.

If you are a mental health professional and want to learn how to help your clients, or even yourself, alter the deep subconscious mind then likewise, get in touch. It does not matter if you are a ‘competitor’ – I am about helping people; the more the better.

Stunning Couples Counselling Testimonial

Here is an SMS/text testimonial from a couples counselling client which I received after the first 1.75 hour session part of my Subconscious Mind Change coaching.

You will see that I have removed the person’s name and phone number for privacy reasons.


  1. During counselling, the lady mentioned that she had a significant fear of public speaking.
  2. The ‘few days of practice’ to which the lady refers are what I taught the couple to do. My methods bring real freedom, and I show people how to help themselves.
  3. I used my shamanic abilities during the process, however people would not necessarily know that (I even help atheists who are  not into any kind of spirituality for example). In this case there were no ‘obvious’ shamanic aspects. Simply speaking – if you need help and want to avoid spiritual overtones I can keep it ‘vanilla’ for you – what I teach works regardless of the spiritual ‘tone’ because it incorporates deep psychological law.
  4. My techniques help anyone with any need – including those with no need of counselling. Business people, sports people, special forces operators, spiritual people, everyday people.
  5. Take a minute now to ask yourself how I can help people get results like this? What might I know? How might it benefit you? This area is my core focus partly because it is where I have high expertise and experience.
  6. Perhaps you are one of my ‘competitors’. Are you a counsellor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, I urge you to come and learn my techniques so that you can help your clients much more effectively. Later articles on this website will elaborate on why I am willing and able to teach ‘competitors’.
  7. If you are unable to visit me in person, I offer online coaching via phone or video chat. Contact me here.

Couples Counselling Testimonial

Still reading? So, let me ask you…wouldn’t you like to know for yourself why my technique has such a powerful effect? Partly it is due to my having freed myself from severe mental illness (primarily parent inflicted). As such, I am a veteran of experience – not an academic, student or other ‘learned greenhorn’. Just think… if you were in the infantry with the enemy closing, would you like to be with battle hardened veterans or would you prefer to be with the infantry school professors? Are you interested in results? Or theory? I rest my case.

Contact me here, or use the contact form below.

[gravityform id=”1″ name=”Contact Form”]

Testimonial From Online Coaching Client Coached Via Skype Video

AlaskaHere is a testimonial received from Kevin Lull, an online coaching client based in Alaska, USA whom I helped via Skype video chat.

Kevin, a professional writer and business owner, had three hours of coaching in total, spread over three separate weeks in three one hour segments.

My questions are in bold, Kevin’s replies in italics.

The “Deep Mind Change” posts to which Kevin refers can be found here.

1) What was the obstacle that would have prevented you from buying this service?

The biggest obstacle I found to buying this service was, in a word, skepticism. The world is full of people offering techniques to change the way you think; visit the self-help section at any major bookstore and see for yourself. I already have a therapist; what point would there be to buying more therapy sessions from someone I’ve never met on the off-chance that this new technique is substantially different from zazen or Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?
Nevertheless, the Deep Mind Change posts intrigued me, and given the availability of Skype sessions, I felt I had to know more.

2) What did you find as a result of buying this service?

I found a technique for accessing feelings that lie buried in my subconscious, for using my conscious mind to affect deep-rooted structures that are not normally amenable to conscious revision. After just a few weeks of practicing the Deep Mind Change technique, I’ve noticed significant and growing changes in the way I feel day-to-day, driven by the gradual changes in unconscious imagery I’ve been able to make.

3) What specific feature did you like most about this service?

The key component that resonated with me was the use of imagery, not words. I’ve always been a very verbal sort of thinker, and trying to directly contest the “messages” I receive from my subconscious with “better words” has met with limited success at best. Working on modifying the images that come up from my unconscious has been far more effective. I would say this is because I use words as weapons against myself, and it’s easy to put a venomous spin even on a positive affirmation. It’s not as easy to put a negative spin on a vision of the universe as filled with golden light that heals me as I drink it in (to name one vision I keep returning to). I was, honestly, surprised at how effective this is.

4) What would be three other benefits about this service?

Since I started doing this, my ability to hold a concrete image in my mind has improved dramatically. This has shown benefits in my writing, as an attempt to describe a nebulous image naturally produces weak, vague prose.
Every day, I feel a little more “tuned in” to the world around me. Constantly trying to interpret the world around me using my favorite medium of words sometimes felt like I was on a tape-delay, a few seconds behind reality. My reaction time in social situations has improved. I’ve even noticed an improvement in my ability to catch objects that are thrown to me, as random as that might sound. As I learn to trust my vision, I find myself more immersed in the world around me.
Finally, I’ve been dreaming more often, and much more vividly than I ever did before. It’s been years now since I’ve had real dreams more than once every few months; now, it’s almost every night, and usually they’re good ones. I find I have more control over them than I used to, as well, which probably explains why they’re usually pretty good (and even the bad ones don’t rise to the level of nightmares, at least not to date). For a lifelong insomniac, being able to disappear into another world where I’m still “conscious” but my body and mind are resting has been a godsend.
For the record, I do still suffer from insomnia, but it’s not as bad as it used to be, and hopefully it will keep getting better. I see no reason to doubt that it will.

5) Would you recommend this service? If so, why?

Absolutely. I would wholeheartedly recommend these techniques to anyone who feels “stuck” as I did, as a major component in freeing the mind from patterns that seem incorrigible. The Skype sessions specifically helped in overcoming the skepticism that I’m sure would have persisted had I merely read about how to do this. I’m not sure I would have fully committed to trying this kind of visualization if I’d merely read about it, without another human being guiding me through the process and encouraging me that it actually works.

6) Is there anything you’d like to add?

It amazes me that these techniques are so simple, so effective, and yet they aren’t more widespread. I’d love to do serious academic research on their efficacy, particularly as compared to more mainstream techniques such as CBT. My primary therapist, who had been working with me on my “stuck” feeling for some months before my Skype sessions with Alex, has been commenting on how dramatic the changes I’ve made in the past few weeks have been, but as encouraging as that is, it’s still an anecdote, and I’m craving data.