How responsible for our choices are we? Really?
Take a look at this quote:
“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.” – Brenda Slavin
Many might say that the quote is harsh, incorrect and even ‘simplistic’. In some respects they are right.
On the other hand, large numbers of people would agree with the quote. I do, to an extent – see my article: I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil
So what is right?
The thinking outlined in the quote is often misused.
Among other things, such thinking can be used:
Now we have some idea of the problem, I will further illustrate the point that we can be BOTH responsible and not responsible for the choices and decisions we make.
The issue lies with the subconscious mind.
You see, when thinking is deeply lodged in our subconscious mind, we are under its control.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung : http://alexrowan.com/5216/make-unconscious-conscious-will-direct-life-will-call-fate-carl-jung/
Some people are ‘mental cripples’ due to their subconscious thinking. Some of us extend courtesy and understanding to physical cripples, yet we have no patience or tolerance for ‘mental cripples’. Some will trot out the quote above with a self-satisfied lick of the lips as they berate someone.
We are indeed responsible for fixing our subconscious issues – this responsibility was a key facet of my own freedom from severe mental illness, for example.
If we either do not know how to fix the subconscious mind issues, nor know, or have access to, someone who does, then how ‘responsible’ are we?
By their nature, subconscious mind issues are not conscious, or ‘obvious’. So many people are ‘in the dark’ about the extent of their problems, or even that they have them. If you don’t know that you have a problem, how responsible are you? We don’t blame children for their lack of knowledge do we? We help them.
This whole issue of personal responsibility is a ‘two edged sword’. We are responsible and yet we are not responsible; depending on the situation and the extent of our knowledge/resources.
The start of the solution is to decide that you will recover; that you will uncover and destroy/heal the subconscious issues troubling your life; that you will find a way to get results and that you will stick with it until you are free.
Unfortunately there are multitudes of mental health/counselling ‘professionals’ out there who don’t know how to help people on the very deep subconscious levels. People seeking solutions can be severely hindered in making progress. I know because I had that experience years ago, I know because of what I hear from my clients today, I know because of what I hear ‘around the traps’ of mental health discussion and debate, I know because a good friend (Professor of Psychology) said so.
We need to turn our focus toward educating people on how they can effect deep subconscious mind change. Then they will be more ‘responsible’. They will recover too.
If you are someone in need of help please contact me for more information. I am a veteran of experience. I can help you in person, via online counselling (Skype), or via phone counselling.
If you are a mental health professional and want to learn how to help your clients, or even yourself, alter the deep subconscious mind then likewise, get in touch. It does not matter if you are a ‘competitor’ – I am about helping people; the more the better.
Before I start; some notes:
Many in society, including myself, are fed up with individuals and organisations who use mental health issues to ‘excuse’ evil. ‘Mitigating factors’ is a term often used.
Unfortunately, using mental health issues in this way also tends to increase the stigma surrounding mental health. Often it is not true.
Today I read about a man who is said to have bipolar/manic depression who killed his lodger’s cat by drowning it, despite professing a liking for his own cat:
In the man’s defence, mental health history was brought up, along with a traffic accident which is said to have exacerbated the mental issues.
Clearly, we cannot know the true and full facts of the case and thus cannot comment on this man specifically. We do not know for example whether ‘mental health experts’ who have assessed the man, and the effects of the accident, have got it right (so many get it wrong). I do however find the fact that the man was able to express liking for his own cat disturbing in context of this actions. I expect that the man’s professed attitude will undermine the confidence of people who consider that he seemed able to feel some compassion and knowledge of good (for his own cat), yet chose to discriminate against the lodger’s cat. Unfortunately, many people in society further stigmatize people with mental health issues as a result of stories like this.
Moving on to the point of my article…
Years ago, when I had severe mental health issues, one of the keys to my freedom was taking personal responsibility for my actions, thinking and mental health. I had been to see lots of people with white coats and certificates on the walls – psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc without much success. In fact, being an intuitive fellow I noticed that many of these ‘professionals’ despaired of being able to help me, though they tried to cover it up. I was also prescribed mood altering drugs etc, however I did not take them partly because I knew the chemicals would simply mask my symptoms and hinder healing and recovery.
I got well. Very well. So much so that I now have mental health professionals among my clients.
I paid a big price. Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically.
Among other things, I decided to seek truth and not my own opinion. I was determined to find a solution.
Years later, I discovered that there is a neuroscience term for part of what happened to my mind during recovery from mental health issues – neuroplasticity.
Today, I consider myself to be one of the most fortunate people in the world and am immensely grateful for the suffering I once experienced. Without it I would have never known the deep joy, peace and wisdom that I enjoy today.
From this standpoint then – a place of knowing that serious mental health issues can be overcome – I have a general tendency to dislike mental health issues being used as excuses for evil or bad behaviour.
We need to own up to and ‘own’ our shit before we can change.
I was an evil little shit (though I never hurt a cat in my life). In recovery, I did NOT make excuses; I got well instead.
Today, I have deep empathy, and in the case of animals, can even ‘communicate’ and heal their minds of deep trauma too. People have noticed. Yes, evidence and results tell.
So if you are in the habit of using mental health issues as an excuse – for yourself, or others – it might be time to stop, and get a life.
Tough words yes, but then, I have been there, and done it.
I’m not some ‘goody two shoes’ politically correct do-gooder with all kinds of certificates and no experience of the fires of mental hell.
Very few truly understand these words:
“Nobody is stronger, nobody is weaker than someone who came back. There is nothing you can do to such a person because whatever you could do is less than what has already been done to him. We have already paid the price” Elie Wiesel