Tag Archives for " Counselling "

2 Why We Are Responsible AND We Are Not Responsible For Our Choices And Decisions

ResponsibilityHow responsible for our choices are we? Really?

Take a look at this quote:

“Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It’s not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make, period.” Brenda Slavin

Many might say that the quote is harsh, incorrect and even ‘simplistic’. In some respects they are right.

On the other hand, large numbers of people would agree with the quote. I do, to an extent – see my article: I’m Tired Of People With Mental Health Issues Using Them as Excuses For Evil

So what is right?

The thinking outlined in the quote is often misused.

Among other things, such thinking can be used:

  • To berate people
  • To look down on people
  • To blame people
  • To excuse the need to help people
  • To be nasty
  • To abuse people
  • To stigmatize others
  • To fuel self righteousness and sanctimoniousness
  • To excuse inability to help
  • To avoid the need to look at your own life
  • To feel powerful
  • To legitimize erroneous schools of thought – an example: why my grandparents got bombed during the Blitz of 1940.

Now we have some idea of the problem, I will further illustrate the point that we can be BOTH responsible and not responsible for the choices and decisions we make.

The issue lies with the subconscious mind.

You see, when thinking is deeply lodged in our subconscious mind, we are under its control.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” – Carl Jung : http://alexrowan.com/5216/make-unconscious-conscious-will-direct-life-will-call-fate-carl-jung/

Some people are ‘mental cripples’ due to their subconscious thinking. Some of us extend courtesy and understanding to physical cripples, yet we have no patience or tolerance for ‘mental cripples’. Some will trot out the quote above with a self-satisfied lick of the lips as they berate someone.

We are indeed responsible for fixing our subconscious issues – this responsibility was a key facet of my own freedom from severe mental illness, for example.

But…

If we either do not know how to fix the subconscious mind issues, nor know, or have access to, someone who does, then how ‘responsible’ are we?

Cross Roads With Blank Signs

So many people can’t ‘read’ the sign, or worse; don’t even know there is a choice.

By their nature, subconscious mind issues are not conscious, or ‘obvious’. So many people are ‘in the dark’ about the extent of their problems, or even that they have them. If you don’t know that you have a problem, how responsible are you? We don’t blame children for their lack of knowledge do we? We help them.

This whole issue of personal responsibility is a ‘two edged sword’. We are responsible and yet we are not responsible; depending on the situation and the extent of our knowledge/resources.

The start of the solution is to decide that you will recover; that you will uncover and destroy/heal the subconscious issues troubling your life; that you will find a way to get results and that you will stick with it until you are free.

Unfortunately there are multitudes of mental health/counselling ‘professionals’ out there who don’t know how to help people on the very deep subconscious levels. People seeking solutions can be severely hindered in making progress. I know because I had that experience years ago, I know because of what I hear from my clients today, I know because of what I hear ‘around the traps’ of mental health discussion and debate, I know because a good friend (Professor of Psychology) said so.

We need to turn our focus toward educating people on how they can effect deep subconscious mind change. Then they will be more ‘responsible’. They will recover too.

New you old you crossroads sign

It’s easier when we KNOW that there is a problem AND that it is possible to get results.

If you are someone in need of help please contact me for more information. I am a veteran of experience. I can help you in person, via online counselling (Skype), or via phone counselling.

If you are a mental health professional and want to learn how to help your clients, or even yourself, alter the deep subconscious mind then likewise, get in touch. It does not matter if you are a ‘competitor’ – I am about helping people; the more the better.

Men, Males, Male Odors And Stress

Stress bombStress (psychological) is something most of us are familiar with in one way or another. Psychological stress has strong links to physiological, or biological, stress – the body can be affected significantly by what goes on in the mind. Conversely, in some cases, a physiological stress can cause a psychological stress.

Today, I want to look at the effects of male presence and even male odors on stress.

Before I start, I want to make it clear that I have an abhorrence for any animal experimentation that involves unkindness, which is probably most such work. That said, I do take note of findings that such research has produced – the animals have already suffered, there is nothing I can do to help those animals specifically (apart from perhaps spiritually), and by learning from the situation the sacrifice of the animals concerned is less ‘in vain’.

Nature.com has produced an article titled: Male researchers stress out rodents. The Daily Mail has written commentary on the issue: Millions of experiments are ruined because lab rats are ‘stressed’ by smell of MEN, claims study.

The key issue is that rodents – mice and rats – become stressed by the presence and even simply the smell, of male experimenters. The same applies for any male animal in close proximity, apart from male cage-mates of the animal concerned.

Besides the obvious scientific concern that experiments have been adversely affected, there is also the more important point that millions of animals have suffered for perhaps questionable gain. We as a society need to carefully consider our approach to animal testing – that though is beyond the scope of my article.

We humans are sensitive to smells that we cannot detect consciously. The research has set me wondering if indeed we too are susceptible to a ‘stress reaction’ to male presence and odors. It is important however not to assume stuff – making unfounded assumptions is the cause of many problems in life, including the spiritual. That’s one reason why so many so-called ‘psychics’ have a bad name. Sure there are significant numbers of such people who are accurate, however not having a heart centered focus on, and a thirst for, truth is a recipe for disaster.

Unfortunately, I expect large numbers of the public will take up the idea that ‘men cause stress to other people’. Most people do not think carefully and critically about what they see, read, feel, hear or otherwise experience. One of the reasons for this is faulty thinking stemming from subconscious conditioning, and in some cases, inherited bias.

For now, we simply don’t know if there is a similar ‘male presence = stress’ situation with humans. For me, having a liking for focusing on facts, truth AND results; my approach to stress is to tackle it on the basis of what we DO know. Multitudes of studies have shown that stress can be (it is not all bad) damaging to physical and mental health.

There is a lot of advice out there on how to reduce harmful stress. I will concentrate on my area of expertise…

  • When we discover good advice that will help reduce stress, it is critical to DO. Be a doer, not a ‘reader’, ‘viewer’ or ‘armchair psychologist’. Our subconscious minds can interfere however.
  • Subconscious mind blocks and/or inherited bias can be resolved. One of my specialties is the destruction of such issues. Besides personal help – in person or via phone/video link – I teach people how to help themselves on a continuing basis, even when I am not present.
  • I show people how they can do what they know they should – many people see counsellors, psychologists, life coaches, executive coaches, therapists and so on, but find it hard or even impossible to put what they have leaned into effect; at least not as much as they would like.

Some people are stressed by being near men for reasons which have nothing to do with smell. Don’t get caught up in the smell idea, but instead address your issues. It is possible to go from a state of being stressed about a situation to actually loving it. How do I know? Because I have been there and done it. Let me show you how.

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Life Coaching Testimonial In A Tweet

Last year I received a ‘Follow Friday’ Twitter testimonial mention from the lovely Nicole (@Schnicka) on a Twitter handle I no longer use.

Here it is:

Life coaching testimonial

Ayahuasca – How You Can Reach Bliss Without It

The psychoactive brew Ayahuasca is a valid and useful way to enhance spiritual experience in the right circumstances and environment. Consuming it here in Australia is illegal, and using it can be dangerous for a number of reasons. I might add that I do not consume Ayahuasca, or offer it. In fact, I show people how to have vivid and powerful spiritual experiences without Ayahuasca.

Tourists and others flock to places like Peru to have ‘Ayahuasca experiences’ with varying results. Australia’s 60 Minutes have recently produced a video on some such people here.

Hand with pen drawing the chemical formula of DMT

Click picture for more information on DMT

This article is not about whether or not you should consume Ayahuasca – I will leave that to you and the legal jurisdiction/s which apply to you. The article is not a criticism of Ayahuasca either. Instead, I will explain how you can have vivid and powerful spiritual experiences, and even reach intense bliss, without Ayahuasca.

Let’s start at the beginning and keep this nice and simple. Simple is usually better than complicated in my view. I like simple.

In one sense, Ayahuasca is a ‘fast track tool’ to get your mind to a state of being receptive to spiritual phenomena, good or bad. It is in this respect a shortcut. Unfortunately it is also a method which requires ‘product’ and has associated dangers. Let’s think about this from a different angle….

Imagine a spirit world which wants to help you (the good part of that spirit world anyway). A loving spirit world. Don’t you think it would be ‘discriminatory’  and ‘unloving’ if this loving spirit world only allowed the best experiences to come to those drinking a plant only available in some places? You would be right. In other words, there are other ways to get genuinely deep and intense spiritual enlightenment and experience. I know, because I do them, and have been doing them for a long time. If I need to I can slip into joyful bliss in a second. I can show you how to do this also.

So, perhaps you are starting to see that you don’t need to spend money on expensive travel, or consume powerful psychoactive substances, or in some jurisdictions – break laws?

My core expertise lies in Shamanism and subconscious mind coaching. Ayahuasca is an aspect of some Shamanism and the lives of some Shamans. Ayahuasca is not the ultimate, it is not essential and I for one, have never used it. So, beware of thinking that you must use it. Using Ayahuasca can be dangerous – read this article carefully: The Hidden Truth About Ayahuasca/DMT, and Psychedelic Drugs by Peter Michael / Shaman Portal

It is far better to know how to commune with and relate to Spirit every day, and at will, than to rely on a substance that may be limited by time, money, place and circumstances. If you were a big, loving spiritual mind, wouldn’t you want humankind to be able to connect in a simple and straightforward way even children and people of low intellect can use? That would be loving huh?

So how do we connect with Spirit without Ayahuasca? It’s easy if you know how.

I teach people how to use their minds to access spiritual wisdom, spiritual ‘feelings’ (like being loved for example) and spiritual phenomena. Interestingly, people have experiences and get results that they can’t dispute – I like that aspect because I am into reality, results and action. It can get quite ‘spooky’ at times, but in a nice way. I especially love it when stuff happens which people know that I cannot possibly have known, or guessed, or deduced.

Ayahuasca affects people’s minds. I can show you how to deeply affect your own mind – in your own time, in your own privacy and without drugs.

Some years ago, a business woman came to see me with moderate to mild issues. In the process she told me that she occasionally took crack cocaine, but was not addicted. I told her that she could reach a better state of feeling than she got via the drug, by doing what I teach – even though I have never tried crack cocaine. In due course she told me that she too had had the experience, while doing what I taught her, that was better than that she got when taking crack cocaine. Like I said, results tell. I’m not into opinions, dogma or mumbo jumbo.

Using my techniques has changed my life for the better in so many ways, including building my character and becoming a better person. You too can benefit and come into contact with real spiritual power that you will feel, and see the effects of. It’s not my power though. In fact, one of the keys to maximising spiritual power and effect is to be humble.

And guess what? It works with atheists too because my techniques are based on law. Like if I drop an egg it breaks because of various physical laws. Atheists might put a different ‘interpretation’ on happenings, however they too start to feel better and so on. As I said, it’s the law. And extremely logical – in fact, the first part of my sessions focuses on logic.

You can learn my techniques in person, or via the phone, or video chat. The time involved is 3 hours, usually split into smaller segments. I also do group sessions which work out cheaper.

PS: I help people who some might call my ‘competitors’ too:  mental health professionals, life coaches, executive coaches, counsellors and so on because I want to help as many people as possible and maximise my service to the world.

Contact me today here.

PS: Deep respect and honor is accorded to those who do use Ayahuasca in line with the will of Spirit.

More:

The tourists toying with insanity by taking powerful hallucinogenic cactus ‘for fun’ in Mexico

An excellent article: Crappy Ayahuasca Shamans Are Making Gap Years Dangerous | VICE | Canada

The Bitter Cup: Ayahuasca – beware the hand that serves you | Passionfruitcowgirl

Psychoactive Amazonian medicine gaining popularity, may treat health disorders | Fox News

Amazon tribe creates 500-page traditional medicine encyclopedia | Mongabay Enviromental News

In Brazil, Some Inmates Get Therapy With Hallucinogenic Tea – The New York Times

The truth about hallucinogenic Ayahuasca plant tea lapped up by backpackers

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Stunning Couples Counselling Testimonial

Here is an SMS/text testimonial from a couples counselling client which I received after the first 1.75 hour session part of my Subconscious Mind Change coaching.

You will see that I have removed the person’s name and phone number for privacy reasons.

Notes:

  1. During counselling, the lady mentioned that she had a significant fear of public speaking.
  2. The ‘few days of practice’ to which the lady refers are what I taught the couple to do. My methods bring real freedom, and I show people how to help themselves.
  3. I used my shamanic abilities during the process, however people would not necessarily know that (I even help atheists who are  not into any kind of spirituality for example). In this case there were no ‘obvious’ shamanic aspects. Simply speaking – if you need help and want to avoid spiritual overtones I can keep it ‘vanilla’ for you – what I teach works regardless of the spiritual ‘tone’ because it incorporates deep psychological law.
  4. My techniques help anyone with any need – including those with no need of counselling. Business people, sports people, special forces operators, spiritual people, everyday people.
  5. Take a minute now to ask yourself how I can help people get results like this? What might I know? How might it benefit you? This area is my core focus partly because it is where I have high expertise and experience.
  6. Perhaps you are one of my ‘competitors’. Are you a counsellor, therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist? If so, I urge you to come and learn my techniques so that you can help your clients much more effectively. Later articles on this website will elaborate on why I am willing and able to teach ‘competitors’.
  7. If you are unable to visit me in person, I offer online coaching via phone or video chat. Contact me here.

Couples Counselling Testimonial

Still reading? So, let me ask you…wouldn’t you like to know for yourself why my technique has such a powerful effect? Partly it is due to my having freed myself from severe mental illness (primarily parent inflicted). As such, I am a veteran of experience – not an academic, student or other ‘learned greenhorn’. Just think… if you were in the infantry with the enemy closing, would you like to be with battle hardened veterans or would you prefer to be with the infantry school professors? Are you interested in results? Or theory? I rest my case.

Contact me here, or use the contact form below.

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You Want Me To Work For Free?

Make Time for What Matters on a clockYou think I should work for free. Yeah?

Will you work for free?

So…you wanna:

  • Take advantage of my expertise and experience without helping me out at the grocery store checkout?
  • Take up my time – it won’t take long after all.

I like to eat.

And have you worked out that if you lose just 10 minutes from every day, that works out at over an hour a week? Yes, just 10 minutes a day. Then there’s the time I have to spend getting my focus back.

I get lots of requests for free help. Even telling people I can’t help adds up to significant time.

In any case, would you value my help as much if it were free? Generally, people don’t value free as much as paid. Would you use my help if it were free?

Should my paying customers subsidise your free? How do you think they might feel if they knew you got something for nothing just by asking?

What about charity? As it happens, partly due to some then unresolved mental health issues, from which I have long recovered, I overdid the charity for my whole life years ago (especially in my 20’s). I spent way too much time in some prime years of my life. In other words, charitable activities overdone meant that I did far more than most people ever do in a lifetime and my efforts for others put me even further behind in life than I already was due to such a poor start and terrible parenting.

Yes, I still do significant charitable stuff today but it is my choice – not just because someone asks. If I do stuff for you free then do you think I should ‘rob’ the charitable work I still do so that I can help you? Yes?

I focus. I spend lots of energy thinking. I get great results. Some of my work is world-class (have a look at some Testimonials). I live out of my passion. Because of all this, anything I do, including free stuff for you, saps my energy and my creative nous, thus leaving less for me, my clients, those I love, and those I support.

If you want free help, I don’t want you to come back – as you probably will if I help you. Who knows, perhaps you’ll even send more people wanting free! Word of mouth referrals can be so effective can’t they? Phone, email or visit Alex ‘Muggins’ Rowan – he’ll help ya for nowt.

Over the years, I have paid a big price for what I know, and for my ability to help people; some of which has been monetary in one way or another. Time has been another significant cost. Even what to you might seem a ‘little question’ may have cost me a lot to be able to give you the right answer. In any case, if it’s a ‘little issue’, or something ‘brief’, why are you asking me? Don’t you think it fair that I get some reward for my effort – my life energy/time spent?

Would you expect to get your house painted, your accounts sorted or your body fixed for free? How many painters, accountants or doctors do you know who work for free? And if they do, do you wonder if they are any good?

I work online and face to face. Some of my paying clients send me an email, a Tweet, or they phone me; which is probably the same way you would get in touch. Why are you expecting not to pay? Why are you different?

Another drawback with doing free stuff is that there is not the same passion and attention behind my focus as there is for paid, or for the free stuff that I have chosen to do. As a result, do you think my advice or help will be as good? And how do you think that will affect how you and potentially others, see me? Also, will it adversely affect your results? It could. And since I work in significant life areas, the consequences of sub-par focus could be detrimental.

So, am I an uncaring thoughtless and selfish sod? Have a look around my site and you will see that is not the case. One of the reasons I am so effective at what I do is that I know how to ‘look after myself’, and say no – where and when necessary. I look at the bigger picture. One part of that is if I am spending too much time helping people for free then I cannot help those who depend on me – my loved ones, friends, animals and clients. Would that be wisdom? Would you recommend I do that?

My website is just one key area in which I help people for free. I spend valuable time creating content, partly for the benefit of my website visitors. In time, my free content will become increasingly valuable.

With my Shaman hat, I have a substantial (cherished) responsibility and desire to help people. I need food, clothing, shelter and so on. Fair enough eh? Just because I have a spiritual aspect to some of my activities – personal and business – does not mean that I should not be paid for spiritual stuff, or other stuff.

Another reason I give so much away is that I am extremely blessed and I want to help as many people as possible. By choosing how I give things away enables me to influence the ‘return on investment’ – ROI. For example; if I spend one hour creating content that benefits many; how can I justify helping someone with a poor grasping attitude who wants that hour for themselves, thus depriving the wider community of the benefit of my time?

There is an unlimited supply of abundance, however we need to exercise good judgement in how we allocate our time and resources. In the past for example, I have overdone the giving and thus tapped into a stream of deprivation. It is important to have balance. I have an overly generous nature to the extent that it has been a weakness at times.

Anyway, I expect some of you have formed negative judgments after reading this far. Be careful. Get the full picture.

Here is part of my story which will illustrate why I need to get paid…

  • My parents were assholes – in different ways. This messed my head up big time and caused mental illness.
  • My start in life was poor, despite high intelligence and a good education, because of the poor parenting and mental illness.
  • I got financially behind in life due to my upbringing and mental health issues.
  • I spent too much time helping people and doing charitable work – even when I did not have enough money to put milk in my tea.
  • I missed out on a normal start in life, and one reason I never had kids was because my head was not ‘on straight’ due to mental problems. Another was that I simply could not afford them. Yet another was that I couldn’t maintain a stable relationship.
  • Mental health issues meant that I was a poor money manager, despite knowing some stuff.
  • I have not received compensation from my parents, siblings or any other relevant family.
  • I had to fix my mental health issues myself, all the while fending off negativity and malicious actions from all sorts of bastards.
  • Today, I have not only recovered from my mental health issues, I have gone even further and attained happiness and wisdom beyond that which most people are even aware of, let alone achieve. This is not some proud boast – in fact, humility is a cornerstone of so much that is worthwhile in life.
  • Today, I have long-term and quality relationships with a wide range of people. Friends, clients, associates, service providers and women.
  • Today I have empathy and other positive traits which were once ‘foreign’ to me.
  • Today I am extremely grateful that I had such dreadful parents and bad siblings (one especially so). I turned their shit into great blessing. Stuff them! (I am not bitter – bitterness among other things contributes to ill health – I do realise however that my parents and siblings are my enemies; so my comment is in the same vein as ‘stuff the Jerries’ would have been in WW2).
  • Today, I help top performers with their mind, thinking, spiritual or life issues (Testimonials).
  • Today, I am well paid and am unusually ‘blessed’, ‘fortunate’ etc. But…I have financial catching up to do, especially capital wise. I don’t stress over it. In fact, a close friend who is a battle hardened special forces veteran*, marvels at how I didn’t stress over my finances; which suggests how bad things must have been. (*In other words, he’s not a guy to think much is worth getting bothered about). Thanks Mum and Dad!

Getting paid  therefore seems pretty fair and necessary don’t you think?

What?

So you still feel ‘entitled’ to some free help just because you asked? Piss off you parasite.

More:

Stop wasting my time – some good advice on time management and networking from the Sydney Morning Herald.

2 A friend writes on her Facebook profile:

So many emails from (industry removed for privacy) businesses wanting free advice lately. If you need help with your marketing/social media/product research/blog writing, etc. you should be willing to pay for it. Otherwise, you need to invest the time into learning it for yourself. After all, there are ample resources online. But it is completely unreasonable to expect other people to give you their time and expertise to help you make your business profitable for free.

My comment:

Ironically (name removed for privacy), many of the people you describe are likely to fail simply because they haven’t ‘got what it takes’. Being parasites, many will always need a ‘host’. An article to help them clarify their situation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parasitism

3 Since this post was written, I received the following message via my contact form:

Hey Alex

I am loving reading your posts and hearing how effective you are and how you are getting these fantastic results with with people. It sounds great and I’m really interested in hearing more about your techniques and influences, if you would be willing to share?

I’m actually interested in a professional context as I’m studying counselling, with the hope in becoming a substance abuse counsellor one day and I came across one of your posts through the whole internet start off looking at something else which leads to twenty other sites thing, actually it was something you were writing about ayahuasca. I’ve been fortunate enough to have had a really great experience with it in the past when it was the right time for me and I saw how effective it was in treating addiction and have been looking at any studies which tie in western therapies and ayahuasca use as medicine in treating addiction… Anyway I’m going off on a tangent, really I was just hoping to hear more from you about certain theories which apply in your field or don’t.. the techniques you use to get in touch with the spirit world without the need for chemical help, how effective you find meditation and just any extra info you want to provide would be great.

Thanks in advance

Note how ‘assumptive’ the message was, and that the person is studying for a career in counselling. Much studying for professional development costs money…

My reply:

Thank you for your message, compliment and interest.
 
In the course of my work I help other ‘mental health professionals’ personally, and also teach them to use my techniques. Some of these people are my ‘competitors’ however I have a number of reasons why I help them, a major one of which is that the wider community needs help and it is incumbent on me to facilitate knowledge sharing, especially as I have been particularly ‘fortunate’. To this end I also have some projects in development.
 
I am happy to share my techniques with you (name removed for privacy), however only on a paid basis. Besides being busy, I need to pay my bills and other costs associated with running a business. I have a limited charitable time budget, however that is deployed in a different area.
 
I first started my healing journey in 1985, and especially so in 1987, however I have distilled the core elements down to few hours of teaching. If you wish, I can share the core elements with you in 4 hours. It is normally 3 hours in total for clients needing help, however the extra hour covers additional input for people with a professional interest such as yourself. The cost is USD $(Old price) and I can either speak with you via the phone (landline only if I call you) or, Skype talk or video (or similar talk/video service).
 
As time progresses I will be sharing more on my blog, including details of some of the projects I mentioned.

I never received any reply to my message.

Ironically, what I have to share is probably the most important thing she could have learnt! If you have trouble believing that; watch this website over the next few years.

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