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Relationship Advice From An Unusual Source

Heart Of The Handprints Of Father, Mother And ChildrenI smiled when I came across this article in the Huffington Post:

30 Rules For Boyfriends From Two Wise Little Girls

What I suggest is that you examine yourself honestly and see if there are any areas in which you can improve. That said, as in my case, there might be some where you cannot.

I’ll start the ball rolling with an honest self appraisal…

The points on which I ‘fail’ the list are:

3. Likes parents – I dislike my parents. I expect you would too if you knew the full story. Here’s an article I wrote: Have You Overcome What Your Parents Did To You? (Poor Parenting).  I am not bitter toward them, however I do realise that they are among my enemies, partly because of their attitudes, behavior (past and present) and lack of attempts to put things right. What’s to like?

6. Good artist – my drawing age has been assessed by a qualified graphics/art teacher at around age 6. So no, I am not a good artist. I am creative, intuitive, sensitive and have an appreciation of art. Along with my ‘Viking’ side of course.

10. Likes children/wants children – not me. Be careful before you judge…I have not seen the woman with whom I might have had children with since 1982. I have never had a desire to have children. This might be because I have low levels of a hormone called FSH, though I have always had a high heterosexual libido, even from an early age. I also had an undescended testicle and hernia which was not discovered until I was 12-13 (very late indeed and indicative of poor parental care and oversight). The testicle was saved and brought down surgically, however it never grew. Perhaps this affected my biological drive to have children. It did not affect my sex life though and I have had (and have) successful and fulfilling relationships with beautiful women (in soul, mind and body).

I do not like spending time with children and actively avoid them when I can. It’s partly because I have trouble understanding them due to voice tone related hearing difficulties I have had most of my life. It is also partly because of how I was treated by my parents – the experience has colored my deep perception of children in the sense that I have been conditioned in some respects to see no/little value in them and a lot of their behavior. I have made progress in this area, however I have not significantly targeted it directly using my subconscious mind healing techniques because it hasn’t been a priority (maybe related to no biological urge to have children). I suffered a lot at the hands of children when I was young – I got bullied a lot until I learned the power of inflicting fear, using aggression and how weapons/tactics could enable me to destroy bullies much bigger than me. My parents also favored my younger siblings over me, which also affected how I saw children.

Interestingly, children like me. I expect it is because they sense the deep respect I have for them as people (not just children) and that I listen to them. Many adults project a ‘mind energy/thought stream’ toward children which disrespects and belittles them (just a kid etc, humoring them and similar). In fact, I think we as a society should listen much more to the young. I also honor the child-like mind that children have, which can be helpful for example in subconscious mind healing – note: I did not say childish.

Over the years I have been told by many astute people what an excellent father I would be, in fact I have had numerous people tell me that I am one of the few people they would trust with their own kids. Deep down they sense stuff.

I am very protective of children. So much so that I support the death penalty for serious pedophilia and if it was legal, I would terminate some of them (pedos) myself. The law protects pedophiles from people like me, who won’t break the law. I wasn’t sexually abused myself, however the abuse I did suffer from my father (some physical, some mental, emotional and spiritual) for example has contributed to a deep dislike of oppressive people who abuse power; of which pedophiles are one of the worst kinds.

And yes, it is possible to blend deep compassion, sensitivity and love in a personality with aggression toward bad people such as pedophiles – after all, if you love your country for example, you might use extreme means to defend it.

So yes, I ‘fail’ the test of not wanting/liking children. People who know me well say what a beautiful person I am though.

14. No kissing on the first date – I have failed that one a number of times! To me, it is about deep connection. If that is there, why does one need to be limited by a ‘formula’ or subconscious archetype?

17. Good cook – I fail this one, despite trying sincerely. I think it is partly because I have low-interest in, and a dislike of, cooking. Also, I was not taught to cook while young. My cooking skills are based on British Army training (read and follow instructions on Meals Ready To Eat and some survival cooking). Fortunately my wife is an excellent cook, and she enjoys it. I take time to mindfully thank and appreciate her efforts. When was the last time you did that? I also maintain and clean the cat litter, along with other stuff.

21. Respect different religions – definitely not. Just some of the reasons include:

  • Religion is responsible for huge amounts of messed up thinking, mental health issues, war, hate, violence, child abuse….the list goes on.
  • Belief is a big problem. Why? So many people have beliefs but they do not have knowing. Belief is crap; knowing and embracing truth is key. So many do not want to find truth and of course, they don’t. I say this partly from the perspective of having had so many personal experiences with spiritual truth and reality that I would be certifiably mad if I doubted them. We know it is raining when we experience it. People have crises of faith precisely because their religion is based on belief, not genuine knowing.

Ah…I’ve got to the end. My wife and others would I agree that I pass the others.

What about you?

Exercises in self-reflection can help you grow.

Do I need to grow? In the area of liking children, yes. Will I bother to prioritise it though? Do I need to? I have little to do with children currently and have no plans to in future. I helped bring up step children some years ago and it didn’t hinder me then in significant ways. One young man (step son) even looked me in the eye, told me that me hated me (mixed up kid), yet of his own accord commented that he knew I loved him. In front of his mother too. So, I was able to transmit and walk in genuine love to the extent that a hate filled kid (he has an extremely nasty father and grand father from whom he has not recovered) not only knew it, but commented on it. One reason I was able to do this is because I know how to channel and manifest spiritual love. Do you? It isn’t a head (belief) thing.

And how can I write about intensely personal stuff so freely? It’s partly because my self-esteem is high, partly because I am authentic and partly because I do not get my inner strength from the unreliable places most people do.

Anyway, if you want help with your thinking, with recovering from your past, with dealing with disabilities or body image issues, or anything else, please get in touch. Use the form below, or more contact details are here.

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