In my last post in the subconscious mind change series: Subconscious Mind Change 5 – Truth, I wrote:
I won’t go into lots of detail here now, however finding truth includes learning about deluded ways of thinking. A classic example is the: ‘he, she or it made me angry’ idea. This is deeply embedded in society’s collective psyche and most people are conditioned to think this way from a young age. It’s also part of the ‘blame culture’. It’s not only disempowering (he, she or it is in control), it is bullshit. I will prove it to you in my next post in this subconscious mind change series. Bear in mind though, that once you know the truth consciously after reading my next post, your subconscious will still think the same! This is why my subconscious mind change method is so vital – it enables your subconscious to align with truth. Just imagine how frustrated you might feel when you know that you shouldn’t be someone’s ‘puppet’ (because you read my next article), yet you still are. This kind of situation is why so many people still struggle after seeing counsellors, psychologists, life coaches and so on. Your subconscious treats you as its bitch! Suck on that!…and wait for the irony…your subconscious doesn’t know the difference between truth and falsehood! (I will cover this issue in a later post).
We often hear people say that things , situations or other people make them angry. No doubt YOU have said the same…
It makes me angry when…
You make me angry if…
He makes me angry because…
When this happens it makes me angry…
Think about this carefully and honestly – I expect many of you will agree that it describes your own personal situation.
The key concept here is the word ‘made’, or ‘makes’. People believing that the events/circumstances make them angry.
When we start to analyse the situation we realise that we are actually under the control of the situation or person that ‘makes’ us angry. Someone or something is therefore in control of us and we are the puppet!
Such a cool, talented graphic artist don’t you think? Gratitude.
In other words, once the situation occurs we become angered. As we all know, in most cases anger doesn’t feel pleasant and it can lead to all sorts of other problems and issues which are beyond the scope of this article.
So are we in control of ourselves or not? Are other people and their actions going to dictate how we feel, how stressed we are and so on? Are you a puppet subject to the whims of circumstance and other people? Can people “pull your chain” and make you angry? Or, are you really in control of yourself and at peace no matter what the circumstances. If not, I can assure you that it is possible. Understanding the keys illustrated in the airport story below is one of the first steps you can take.
As this concept of things/people making us angry is so entrenched in our psyche and society, I am going to give an example and logical proof that we actually choose to be angry because of our own thoughts. This is one of the keys to getting a release from this way of thinking.
Imagine an airport departure lounge – a moderately stressful atmosphere, slightly tense perhaps. You’re sitting there waiting for your plane to board when a man and his young five-year-old son arrive. Unfortunately for you and the other hundred or so people crammed into the departure lounge, the young boy is very noisy and badly behaved. To make matters worse, he moves around the departure lounge making a right pest of himself to around 80% of the people there. He doesn’t go quite too far so as to provoke intervention from security or similar, but does succeed in being a real nuisance. His father does nothing to control the ‘brat’.
I think you will agree that in the above situation the majority of people would be feeling more tense and stressed before their flight, as well as angry – partly due to the boy’s behavior and partly because of the father’s inaction. Now let us imagine that all of a sudden a team of five people in white coats appear holding clipboards and proceed to conduct a survey into the feelings of passengers before they fly. In such a situation I have no doubt that many people would mention their feelings of anger and when asked for more detail, would explain that “ the little boy and his hopeless dad over there made me angry”. This is a perfectly normal and common reaction – one which most people would experience.
Now, for a moment, let us imagine that the boy’s father then starts to make his rounds of all the people in the departure lounge apologising for his son’s behaviour, explaining that his son is not normally like that, and that the reason for it is because he is flying home after having come to the area due to his mother’s unexpected illness and subsequent death whilst on holiday. The boy was with his mother when she died. The father also explains that his son is as a result very hard to control and that in the circumstances he himself is having his own difficulties and is less able to cope than normal.
Now let us imagine what must be going through the minds of all those tense stressed and angry people in the departure lounge. No doubt you will agree that the anger that was there will have now mostly disappeared, if not totally gone from the majority of the people present. Instead the anger will have been replaced by sadness and sorrow, and even empathy for the little boy and his father.
Why is this? Why has the anger disappeared? The simple reason, which is all we need anyway, is that all these angry people changed the way they thought about the situation.
In true reality, the little boy’s behaviour didn’t make them angry – they all got angry because of how they chose to think about the situation. The moment different thoughts entered their minds – in other words they found out the reason for the boy’s behaviour – they had an immediate change in their feelings.
Different thinking about situations leads to different results – in this case a reduction of anger.
I know that there was a ‘good reason’ for the change of thinking however that is not the point. The anger reduced because of a change in thoughts. We are responsible for our anger, not other people or situations.
There is a problem however!
The problem is your subconscious mind because even though now you know that anger comes from yourself and your own thinking, you find it difficult to live by the new way of managing anger. Your subconscious mind is conditioned to respond in an angry way to certain stimuli. This is a classic example of why you need to reprogram your subconscious and why so much change in your life is difficult. The subconscious mind doesn’t want to change unless it is dealt with in the right way. You may have been to see life coaches, executive coaches, counsellors, psychologists, or read lots of books/attended seminars, and yet still struggle.
One reason why people think that others, or situations, make them angry is that it’s part of a ‘blame culture’ which ‘absolves’ us of responsibility for our actions.
Another key to freedom is to honestly face up to the truth in this article and admit that you have a problem. Sure, it might be uncomfortable at first but it will also lead to greater peace of mind, especially when combined with changing your deep subconscious mind. You will be healthier too because stress will cease to be a big issue in your life.
- I will NOT be the puppet of someone else, or something.
- I will be in real control, not just repressing or hiding feelings.
- I will be cool, calm and collected; free of stress.
- When I do feel anger it will be because I chose to do so and it will have a constructive purpose (an advanced topic).
- I will find out HOW to get my subconscious mind working with and for me, instead of against me.
- I will live in truth; not as a deluded fool.
- I will find and destroy pockets of anger buried in my subconscious which I am unaware of. (These are like a bomb waiting for the right trigger to set it off).
- I will become more likeable (anger generally doesn’t attract people in a good way).
It is of course possible, once you have mastered the anger management of your life, to use it in other ways; such as by controlling and manipulating other people. In many cases this would not be ethical, however in some it might be (such as in a police interrogation of a criminal). As you grow in your ability to change and heal your subconscious mind, you will also benefit from a growth in positive character traits which will help you not to misuse what is extremely powerful knowledge.
“Any person capable of angering you becomes your master; he can anger you only when you permit yourself to be disturbed by him.” – Epictetus
“Anger is temporary insanity.” – Horace