Poor parenting is a serious problem today.
Parents have a huge responsibility.
Much bigger than many realise.
Have a read of this article:
It’s an interesting, moving and thought-provoking story. At the end, the author writes:
“I had a lump in my throat as I thought to myself that my dear dad should never thank me for anything. He and my mum — who sadly passed away last year following a battle with Alzheimer’s — sacrificed everything to enable me to go out, make money and enjoy the finer things in life.
And they taught me, too, the three things a child needs to make a success of their life: Love, encouragement and an unbreakable work ethic.”
I want to home in on this: “three things a child needs to make a success of their life: Love, encouragement and an unbreakable work ethic.”
In my case, both my parents had a good work ethic, which I also have. Neither of them loved me however and both actively discouraged me. A friend, who has met both of them, says that she doesn’t think my parents ever loved me, based on HER independent observations of their behavior. Personally, I have no doubt that both my parents hated/hate me.
All that said, I am very fortunate to have had such ghastly parents & received poor parenting!
This is because I overcame what they did to me, took personal responsibility for fixing myself and got healing for my mental illness (caused by what happened to me as a child, including poor parenting).
Among other things, I suffered from: severe depression, anxiety, mania, extreme fears, Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD), panic attacks, low self-esteem, low confidence, severe introversion, poor social skills, lack of empathy, PTSD. Those are just a few!
I know a deep peace and joy now, and having observed many people with a good start in life, have realised that I am better off inside my psyche than even them. The only significant area I am still catching up on is the financial damage which partly resulted from many years struggling with mental health issues, and partly from doing too much charitable work (helping others too much can be ‘unhealthy’). (Related read: Daily Mail article: Happiness is the best investment for your child’s future, as study reveals happy children grow up to be wealthy.)
Without such awful parents I would never have discovered what I know today – I am thus grateful for my parents.
Unfortunately, most people who have such a bad start in life suffer terrible life outcomes. I nearly did too.
Today, I help others who had a similar poor parenting experience, as well as those who haven’t. As I have been there and done it myself, I have experience and understanding that you cannot learn from a book, class, lecture or buy with money.
If you want help with issues that stem from poor parenting, contact me here.
What kind of parent are you?
Do you have concerns about your parenting style? Perhaps you need some parenting advice, or parenting tips? Perhaps you mean well but make too many mistakes and want to improve your parenting skills? If so, get in touch and get help. Besides the obvious benefits, you will learn things which will help you in other areas of your life also.
“No success in public life can compensate for failure in the home” – Benjamin Disraeli
You may have noticed that generally, one finds few true, genuine friends or people in life.
Down the years I found few who really cared and/or helped.
I am grateful for those that did and for those that didn’t (the latter helped me become stronger), and also for the people who helped for the wrong motives (the latter are not listed here, even if they did ‘help’ me).
I am especially grateful to these kind, genuine souls:
Jean Webley (1910 – 1987) & Wilfred Webley (1911 – 1985). Paternal grandparents.
Trevor Webley (Dcd early 70’s) – Wilf’s brother.
Colonel Terry Palmer (1928 – Oct 2011). RM (3 Cdo Bde) , Para (OC 1 Para Log), Special Forces (Recon & Intelligence). Stepfather. A top operator. My mother was a bitch to him as well.
RSM J Potter MBE. If I could have had a father, he would have been the one I chose. (My father by blood was not a father in spirit, thus I never had a real dad).
Mr Osborne. The only school teacher to make the list.
Grace Hayward. Helped me as many others were kicking me when I was down.
Val Beale. Gave me a home & other help at a difficult time in my life.
Dr Joy Harrison M.D. Gave me a home at a difficult time in my life.
Carol Wright. An unusually forward lady – she asked me for a date. Had I not emigrated to Australia in July 1982, I would probably have married her. She is also the only woman I probably would have had children with.
Rosamond H. The tender wind that carried the Lion and gave light in the dark. Never forgotten. Always there, in the invisible.
Pete Middlemas – RM.
Unknown infantry officer – Thirsk, Yorkshire.
Peter Booth. (Dcd 3 June, 1994.) An old style ‘British boffin’. I never did find out if he worked for GCHQ.