Our society, which has has long been a patriarchy, undervalues and underestimates the value of women’s contribution.
One example is business:
What to do? Simple. Seems so.
Britain has a Special Forces unit called the Special Reconnaissance Regiment (SRR). This is the ‘most elite’ unit in the British Army; I say this because even seasoned and battle-hardened Special Air Service NCOs have failed the selection course for entry to the SRR. The SRR has women in it. The SRR is technically a ‘combat unit’ however the primary role is reconnaissance – operators will generally try to avoid combat. At times SRR personnel operate deep behind enemy lines far from any support. Women are members of the SRR for several reasons which include being undercover posing as a couple (two guys ‘on holiday’ would look out of place), smaller body frame size (can be useful for small window covert building entry) and more. Women have been in this unit since its forerunner was founded in the 1970’s (14 Field Security and Intelligence Company). I knew the founder (deceased 2011) of 14th Intelligence (I was not a member of 14th, SAS, Paras or Royal Marines, I was just in the Cadets/CCF) – a Colonel who was a former Royal Marine and Parachute Regiment officer, at one time CO (Commanding Officer) of a Para battalion (1 Para Log). The Colonel was a sensitive man who practised Shamanism as a business after retirement from the British Army, and also organised the British forces Airborne officers annual dinner every year. The Colonel appreciated and valued womens’ contribution to life. He was a brave man who had served with some of the British Army’s toughest men, yet he valued and respected women. The Colonel was ‘more masculine’ than most men. What can we, and especially those misogynistic and/or ‘macho’ types of men, learn from this? Balanced and holistic masculinity does not include misogyny or male chauvinism.
My father was a misogynist, though I never turned out like him. (I did have to work on divesting myself of other nasty traits I picked up from him however, and subconscious ‘thought colouring’ was an important element). I have always liked women from a young age and generally tend to prefer their company (and professional services) to that of males. One reason for this is that I generally find women to be more ‘balanced’ and holistic than most men.
This is a beautiful reminder of how much women have done if the field of math and science without any of the recognition men get. Reminder to support women. We have tried patriarchy. Let’s try something else. https://t.co/3HutDDl87u
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) January 6, 2018
The following story reminds me of my (paternal) grandmother Jean. Jean, along with her husband Wilf (grandfather) and his brother Trevor, were the only blood relatives I had who genuinely loved me.
My father was an evil and nasty man who was among other things, verbally and physically abusive to me. While growing up I was a dysfunctional loser with severe mental health problems. My mental health issues were primarily parent (both mother and father) induced. I did bad things and once I upset Jean so badly she cried, despite being a ‘tough’ woman who had survived the German bombing during the London Blitz when half her house was blown away while she was still in it. She never told my father (who was custodial parent at the time), or grandfather, and never punished me either. Much earlier, at age 10, Jean told me not to take liberties when I played up while my father and his new bitch Margaret (who was also very unkind to me) were away. Years later I realised that Jean had not told my father about what I did because she knew I would suffer terribly. I also understood what she meant about taking liberties – she was never going to tell my father about my behaviour. Jean still loved me despite my badness. My father, mother, step mother and brothers (1 full and 2 half brothers) never did love me.
When I read the story below I remembered Jean, knowing that she would have given me something regardless of what I had done. Jean loved me – it was not some kind of ‘conditional approval’.
Today I am a very different person and have undergone deep change. I even cared for and helped my father in his final months, weeks and days despite what he had done to me, although he, nor the family, never apologised, or gave me any compensation. My mother told me she would not see my father just before he died because of all the anger and other emotions she still felt after nearly 50 years! I reflected on this and contrasted it with the reality that I suffered far more at my father’s hands than my mother ever did. I suffered from when I was a baby and it affected my development. Some people really do need to ‘get over’ themselves. If I could do it…
Today I also know what it means to love someone and wish the best for them regardless. Her name was Rosamond. If you genuinely love someone you never stop – so much of what passes for love in our society is not genuine love. The love word, and concept, has been severely debased and misused. Someone (a mother), who knows my mother, told me that my mother has never loved me, saying they know because a mother who loved me originally would never have treated me the way my mother has. As I reflect on Jean’s love for me I can see how much my mother was, and is, lacking. Jean died in April 1987, when she was murdered by medical staff who ‘needed the beds’ (more here).
I am sorry for how I treated Jean. On a ‘positive note’ I can now look back and see just how much she loved me and the thought nourishes me today. I apologised to all my family back in 1985/86 when I started my journey to mental freedom and healing. None of them has ever apologised to me and all still exhibit hostility in various forms, despite knowing how different I am today. One reason they are hostile is simply because they are nasty people. My brothers have been conditioned partly by having bad parents – it is still no excuse however; after all, I changed, despite having had a far worse start in life than them.
The remaining members of my blood family are pitiful empty souls who need help. Ironically, I am so grateful for them all today, including my late father. Without the terrible suffering I endured I would never have discovered the beautiful things I know today. I am even better off than people who were raised with love in a loving family. Around 10 years ago I was shocked to realise I had empathy for a Cane Toad (noxious pest in Australia); I knew it was a sign of very deep healing.
Apart from my paternal grandfather Wilf, when I was young, for a short time, I did have another ‘father figure’ from whom I sensed and experienced love. He was also a ‘brother’. > RSM Potter MBE (dec). Coldstream Guards. CCF. The finest, kindest man I ever knew. A ‘father’, and brother-in-arms. 🇬🇧 ⚔. Gratitude.
Perhaps we should suggest such people tick the box that says ‘no antibiotics’.
I can’t believe people still say things like “I was born in the wrong era” because they like Victorian corsets or whatever.
— Cora Harrington (@lingerie_addict) January 7, 2018
Ah yes, Winston Churchill…a fascinating, inspiring and unusual man. I have learnt a lot from studying him. Here’s a suggestion; instead of focusing on ‘plastic celebrities’, fill your mind with wisdom from genuine ‘giants’. They may have their faults, however wisdom will help you filter those.
British actor Gary Oldman won the #GoldenGlobes for his portrayal as Winston Churchill in Darkest Hour. And he thanked the wartime prime minister himself in his acceptance speechhttps://t.co/pp6b2QNXWB pic.twitter.com/zndCyTfKTF
— BBC News (World) (@BBCWorld) January 8, 2018
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